imma wiserd side story Commentary
by GojiraTheGhidrah
Summary: People are only scraping the surface of the turd pile that is the imma wiserd universe, and I'm reaching into the depths of imma wiserd side story: da thanksgiving crime.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Jesus CHRIST, we're fucked.**

Upon reading Spymaster E's "the Worst Fanfiction Of All Time", I got curious and searched "imma wiserd." Turns out, the SAME writer made a SIDE STORY! So I'm gonna do a commentary on it. Horray. My comments will be **(like this)**, and the story will be like this. Here we go, "**imma wiserd side story: da thanksgiving crime"**

Chapter 1: da thanksgiving crime

note 2 da reeders: happy tanksgivin! (I told u id b bak! bu when I got bak... dere was a horible suprise watin 4 me. **(You got killed! Oh, wait,)** imma wiserd wuz takin down agin! **(That's bad?)** an I think I no who did it. **(I want to hug them.)** dats why im ritten dis story. 2 expose da truth. **(You mean, Sherlock Holmes removed it or something?)**

dis is a side story 2 imma wiserd. An evern tho its a sad **(NOT!)** story it will play an important part 2 da intire book. **(Sure it will.)**

da pope got up dat mornin. "hapy tanksgivin" **(The happy holiday of giving Tanks to people!)** he sed "marquez is comin bak 2day!" he wuz excited.

he got on his computer an looked. itt wuznt dere. **(Hmm… I wonder what it could be.)** "huh" he sed an lokked 4 it agin. it still wuznt dere. now he wuz startin 2 get scared.** (Why would he get scared that…)** den he realized... dat IMMA WISERD WUZ GON!

"NOOO!" he sed. **("YEEEES!" rejoiced the rest of the internet.)**

"mr pope" sed da church guy **(Church guy? You mean a Priest or something?)** "wuts goin on in dere"

"LEEV ME ALONE" sed da pope an he thru da chair at da door. "I DONT WANT 2 LIVE" den he fell down cryin "DERE IS NO GOD!" **(What a good role model.)**

den he had an idea. "get sherlock homes on da phone an tell him to get his ass down 2 hogwats an find da muthafukka who did dis!" **(Not only would the preist not say this, but why would he want someone to go to Hogwarts? Wouldn't he think Witchcraft and Wizardry is BAD?)**

"yes sir" sed da church guy an ran down da halaway.

"mr homes is da only person who can sovle dis case..." **(And the only one who can find the "muthafukka" who did this!)**

**So as you can see, this isn't getting good. AT ALL. And isn't the Pope in Europe, while Thanksgiving is an American holiday? What ever. It still sucks.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: That… makes sense.**

***rubs temples* Okay… I'll continue. My comments are (like this), and the story is **lyk dis.

da clok wuz clickin away on da mantel pece. sherlock homes wus sitten smokin a pipe an reedin a book. **(It was entitled: "How To Be In A Shitty Fanfic.")**

den... WATSON BUSRTSS IN! "HOMES" **(What about them?)** he sed "WEVE GOT N URGANT NEWS FROM DA POPE" **("Got n urgant news?")**

sherlock loked up rly slowly **(I would look up fast and say, "OH MY GOD WHAT IS IT!")** frum his book an closed it. "wht did u say?" **(Why is Mr. Holmes deaf?)**

watson handed him da letter. homes took it an red evry word. "hmm" he sed. **(That is the most creative line I've ever read.)**

"watson!" he sed "book me da 1st flite 2 district 7! **(To Hogwarts! Which is School 2 District 7 apparently. Go figure.)** rite away"

"yes sir mr homes" an he ran away 2 do dat. **(H-he ran to an airport? Damn.)**

as soon as watson left homes looked at da letter. "dis sure is a mystery" **(…)** he sed "who wud want 2 delete a grate litature like imma wiserd?" **(Anyone with some sense.)**

he rolled da letter up an put it in his poket an den went 2 pack.

**Wow. Just, wow.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: …Durka.**

**Ok… This is NOT fun. At ALL. So be prepared.**

we were now standin in front of hogwats.** (Who are WE? I thought "imma wiserd" took place from "turtles" POV.)** da dumbledoor came 2 greet dem.** (Yay.)**

"wut r u fine yung men doin here" he sed.** (No comment.)**

"we r here 2 investicate a mystery" sed homes **(Yep, one heck of a stupid mystery.)**

"oh dere r no mysteryes at hogwats" sed da dumbledoor.** (You know, except for the THOUSANDS that are still mysteries.)**

**By the way, have you noticed I'm not saying a single thing about the grammar and spelling? That's because… well… uh… I would waste words? I would be redundant? Whatever pleases you.**

"oh? well da pope wud disagree" sed homes.** (I don't think Dumbledore would care seeing as THE POPE is the head of the Catholic Church which is CHRISTIAN, and witch craft and wizardry ISN'T, so, EPIC FAIL!)** den he took out da letter. den da dumbledoor took it an looked at it. **(Boy, that sure is amazing.)**

"oh deer" **(One hit my car last week.)** he sed. "well i guess ill have 2 let u in" **(That was easy.)**

dey saw draco an fithcl wakkin an takkin. **(and shootin' some B-ball outside of the school,)**

"i wunder how vandermort is doin in da past. do u tink he has killed dat nigger yet?" **(Please refer to imma wiserd for that to make sense.)** sed draco

"urchinvakackzin" **(Um, what?)** sed filtc. which wuz german 4 whos dat ova dere. **(No it's not.)** he wus pointin his fingre at sherlock homes commin thru da door.

"i dont no" sed draco lookin curous.

"why hello fitlch. an hello 2 u 2 mr brown (dats draco)." sed da dumbeldoor. **(Does anyone just say who someone in disguise is?)**

"helo alvin" sed draco

"durkadurkaalvin" sed filtch. **(DURKA? DURKA? WHAT IN THE NAME OF JESUS, GOD, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT IS DURKA! !)**

"id like 2 intorduc u 2 some1 who will b stayin wit us 4 while" sed da dumbledoor. "meet sherlock homes"

den dracos eyes got wide. he wuz scared. **(Um, why?)** sherlok homes noticed dis an his eyes got narow.

"whatchu afraid of boy?" **(Good question.)** sed sherlock homes lookin at him thru his magnifyin glass.** (Um, Draco is young, but, he isn't THAT small.)**

"were not makin u nervus r we" sed watson

"no" sed draco

"well ok den" sed homes. but he wuz bein sarcastic. **(Um, WHY?)** he wuz gonna keep an eye on dem.

den homes an watson walked away.

"OMG HITLER I TINK DERE ONTO US" sed draco **(I think TARA GESIBELLE could write better than this.)**

"UNVINHACKISGDSIDRACULA" sed filtch witch wuz german 4 i tink so 2 dracula **(No it doesn't.)**

den dey ran away 2 da evil lair. **(Woah.)**

…**This, is, BULLSHIT!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: SHEEEIT!**

**A/N:** Sorry about bein' a shithead with this FanFic. I had to rebuild my computer.

My comments are **(Like this,)** and the story is luk des.

"dis is d grate hall" sed da dumbledoor. "rite now da children r eattin luch" **(CHILDREN IS SPELLED RIGHT? YES! YES!)**

"hmm let me see" **(*cough* pedophile *cough*)** sed homes an him an watson entered da grate hall.

dere wuz a stand on da entrance **(Why is there a stand in the entrance? Wouldn't that just get in the way?)** and homes wuz gonna put up his hat. but she caught his eye an he put it back on his hed. she was wakkin like she wuz da prettiest girl on earth. but she wasnt. oh no she wasnt. she wuz wearin all blak an fishin gear. **(Ebony? Get out of this fic! You already have My Immortal!)**

"who is dat!" sed homes to a ghostly wite boy takkin 2 a pregnant teenage gurl. **(Say WHAT?)** he looked at homes.

"oh dats precious longbottom" **(WHAT THE !)** sed ghost harry. "shes pretty big around here" **(SHEEEIT!)**

homes watched as she went ova to da slythin tabel. but dere wuz no place to sit so she sat at da end of da table.** (Unnecessary details!)** den she grabed da sides an leend bak an all da food fell into her mouth an a cuple of ppl. **(UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!)**

homes wuz starin wide eyed. **(That's a NORMAL thing to do if you see that!)** she saw homes starin at she stuck her middle finger up at him. **(Why?)** she looked around da tabel 4 more food but dere wuz none. **(Fatass.)** so she got up an went to da huffle puff an ate all da fruitloops. **(Why didn't any one stop her?)**

homes turned 2 da dumbledoor. "sir! u have 2 help dat poor gurl! it seems a spell has backfired on her!" **(THAT IS THE BEST LINE OF DIALOG EVER WRITTEN IN THIS FIC.)**

"no shes just fat" **(...Duh.)** sed da dumbledoor. homes wuz about 2 talk 2 her **(Why?)** but he stopped. **(Good!)** he was afraid she wus gonna eat him. **(!)** den he got tired.

"can u show us 2 r rooms... or homes if u will **(That was A FAIL JOKE!)** :)" sed homes

"ok" sed alvin an dey went.

**(Wow.)**


End file.
